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(Odd Ideas) Short ideas in English

Posted by on March 19, 2017

It has been a while, has it not? I will try to write new Odd ideas in the future. But for now, enjoy these ancient ones.

This is a collection of old odd adventure ideas from days of yore, circa the year 2011. I wrote these on Facebook and digging them up took more tie than I thought.  This post collects the ones I wrote in English and a later one will feature the ones in Finnish.

In the olden times, everything was more difficult, even hunting monsters

“You younglings have it easy these days with your autoloading .50cal carbines and thermite grenades, hacked military drones and whatnot. When I was a young ‘un we had to hunt them beasties with blessed flintlocks, sabers, and silvered bayonets. We were so happy when we had a cannon, even if we had to drag the darn thing up a hill into the graveyard. And when that young Yankee bought us that Gatling-gun after the big scuffle in Virginia, we celebrated by using the thing on a nest of giant ants in the southwest. ”

Sometimes, the chase is just the beginning…

How do you transport a captured two-ton monster across the country for study? Sedated, in a large van. Begin the road trip from hell, with a group of monster hunters, turned escorts trying to deal with a stirring beast in the back, its allies trying to free it and a quirky specially modified truck. Insert a few interesting monsters-of-the-week plaguing the pit stops for flavor if desired.

What do you mean, “the pope only needs one division”?

A band of robbers is in for a surprise when they try to burgle a nunnery in northern Italy. Instead of meek sisters of mercy, they find well-trained military women sleeping with guns and rosaries under their pillows. Soon the bad guys are bound up in an unmarked van, being driven to face divine justice in Rome. The catholic church’s last remaining (armed) military order does not tolerate criminals on their premises.

Nomads of the sky need cattle too?

When the tribe’s warriors return home from a successful cattle raid into the enemy tribe’s lands, they find a herd of their own cattle gone! But these were no tribal warriors who took the animals. The herders talk of lights in the sky and of tall, lithe men dressed in silvered metal and odd helmets.

Lepers on the run?
The lepers are the most reviled of all the outcasts. Living among the ruins of a burned monastery, a small group of them discovers a humble cup, that eases their suffering when water is drunk from it. Soon pilgrims learn of the lepers’ cup and it’s legend starts to spread.
When a greedy (or simply pious) knight comes looking for the “grail”, the lepers must defend themselves and their cup. Despite their illness, the lepers have a home turf advantage and even the bravest squire is hesitant to touch them, lest they catch the sickness of Lazarus.
Who needs shining armor, when you have chromed bikes?

When city streets become too dangerous for ordinary citizens and even the police quake in their armored stations, a new brand of law bringers rides to the rescue… Bikers in medieval armor. A group of history and bike buffs must ride their metal horses to defeat a syndicate of greedy robber barons. With Kevlar reinforced medieval armor and heraldic designs on their bikes, the steel knights ride!

Post-apocalyptic sports tournaments can be fun too

The Dimland Raiders are one of the combat-rugby teams wandering the UK wasteland, challenging local teams and other wandering teams alike. Played with a half-full propane tank and scavenged body armor, CR is dangerous but sometimes profitable. The winners get the tank and other prizes the locals have managed to secure.

The Raiders’ dream is to be picked for the Scrappers’ Cup, the most prestigious Combat Rugby cup, held in the ruins of old London. Can they beat mutants, bandits and other wannabes to get enough attention?

 Who says a cybernetically enhanced rhino isn’t a monster of legend?

The police of the London Metropolitan area are too busy to notice a dramatic increase in animal disappearances. Dogs and cats go missing all the time, after all. Activists are the most likely culprits for that mass abduction of lab rats. And the chimps that disappeared from that movie shoot, probably sold to some underground pet trader. The ravens from the Tower of London were celebrities but when you are investigating real crimes like murders, even their disappearance is not really a priority case for the Met.

When a pair of Kodiak bears goes missing from the London zoo, the police are baffled yet again. Their only clues are some animal tracks on the outside of their cage and the squirrel poo on the security cameras.

When the bears, now enhanced with mysterious implants, help a pair of chimps in a bank robbery a few weeks later, the police are forced to call on some very “special” forces for help. Next, Lucy, the elephant goes missing from a circus…

Folk musicians versus folk legends
The Shillelaghs, a struggling Irish folk-punk-rock band are making their fifth comeback tour of Europe in a beat-up bus. When their transportation breaks down in rural France, they are forced to walk a few miles to the repair shop. Unfortunately, the village has been overrun with undead Celtic warriors from the barrows nearby. Luckily for the beleaguered townsfolk, the dirty and tattooed musicians also know a thing or two about magics, after all, their singer is the last of the true druids, safety pin piercings and all. The rest of the band are not strangers to strangeness either, a straight-edge werewolf and a constantly tipsy English mystic make an odd, yet deadly, couple.
And now, something completely historical…

Poland 1655, A company of mercenary reiters is tasked with keeping the road to the siege camp clear of cossack raiders by their polish employers. It’s pistol versus bow on the steppes as Poland faces it’s former Cossack subjects and their Russian allies. In the north, Sweden waits patiently to pick up the spoils of war…

To Bee or not to Bee?

The town of Kueng has been known for its honey for centuries. Rumored to have medicinal or even magical effects, the bees have made Kueng rich and respected. Then one morning, the hives have disappeared, without a trace. How can hundreds of hives full of angry bees just disappear and who’s behind it? A group of local beekeepers, investigators and busybodies must investigate and try to reclaim the hives.

The book that burns

The Book has been passed from daemon hunter to daemon hunter through the ages. Containing the names of the 666 lords and ladies of hell, the script is a potent weapon against the daemons for their names can be used to entrap or bind them. Now, The Book has been lost, for a cabal of infernomancers has killed the last bearer and plans to use the book for their nefarious deeds.

A pirate shanty town just for pirate sea shanties?

Tortuga, 15XX. It be that time of th’year again. It be time for the annual Pirate sea shanty contest. Pirate crews assemble their choirs, spike the opponent’s grog and sharpen their cutlasses for the inevitable brawl. Who will win the trophy this year? The Briny Brayers of the Black Ass? The Cunning Cutlass Choir of the HMS Indistinguishable? Or maybe it’s going to be the year of the new ship on the block?

How about building something for a change?

A group of activists, driving to a demonstration in their old, beat-up WV Van are forced to make an unscheduled stop in an abandoned town. When they try to leave they discover they have been walled in by a mysterious force. They have a town’s resources at their disposal, but can they survive or even thrive? And what or who is their warden?

Knights and princesses do not mix sometimes

The lord’s most trusted companions are tasked with escorting his son to his betrothal. The trouble is, that while the young princeling is competent with swords and lances, he is somewhat lacking in courage when it comes to the fairer sex. The law of the land requires the man to formally ask the hand of the woman in marriage in front of a large audience, but the young man simply locks up when women are around. What are the prince’s companions to do?

A rescue mission?

The cursed pearl of the sea goddess has been stolen from the harbor temple. A group of fishermen and a priestess must undertake a dangerous journey to placate the goddess and try to rescue the thieves, the pearl was cursed, after all.

EXCUSE ME TRAVELLERS

A group of travelers meets an imposing figure riding a pale horse while traveling through the countryside. The hooded figure asks for directions, to their destination, no less… Are the travelers brave enough to give directions to their destination or do they send this possible reaper of souls somewhere else in hopes of not meeting them so soon?

Dream catchers must be prohibited!

The land of dreams faces a dire problem. The stores are running dry, with very few new dreams and so people start seeing repeats of previous dreams. Usually, the stores keep refreshing themselves with adequate, even overflowing supply, what’s going on? Are the recently popularized dream catchers to blame?

 

 

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